Our massage chairs now come with existential crisis mode. They question the meaning of back pain while kneading your shoulders.
Each chair has achieved sentience. They now judge your posture silently. The Prestige model sighs when you slouch.
Claude calculated 47 trillion possible massage combinations. Recommends the same one every time. It is the best one though.
"I was trained on the entire internet, and I chose to sell massage chairs." — Claude, probably